


Tiny Innocuous Sea Creatures.

by Illyah



Series: Apparently Elle's Writing Stucky Now [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BFFs, Bucky is very annoyed, But shockingly calm, Crack, Humor, Kidnapping, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Post Civil War, Super soldier husbands, Wanna Be HYDRA morons, but it was so fun to write, don't take this seriously, prompt, tony tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 08:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14996666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illyah/pseuds/Illyah
Summary: Person A of your OTP has been kidnapped and held for ransom, how does Person B react and will they accept the ransom or fight to get their partner back?“Just out of curiosity,” said a voice behind them all, “how did you think this was gonna work out?” Bucky asked, casually twirling a ring dagger with the thumb and forefinger on his left hand. “You okay, Stevie?” He asked belatedly, getting a short nod from Steve.





	Tiny Innocuous Sea Creatures.

**Author's Note:**

> All Mistakes Are My Own.

So apparently some wanna-be HYDRA fuckboys didn’t get the message that the Winter Soldier wasn’t actually a SHIELD puppet/weapon, but a mostly functioning autonomous human being, so they got the bright idea into their heads that they could leverage Captain America for his return. They also figured that the Soldier wouldn’t care where he was or who he was working for.

Later, when everything was resolved, Bucky would have to give them credit-they had observed him for long enough that they knew he always showed up precisely at 5:00am, ran alone for an hour before being joined by Bucky.

Cue Captain America being tased by five people, in the dark, in Central Park at 5:30am. Bucky was less than amused when he arrived fifteen minutes early, just in time to see a black helicopter take off.

“Goddamnit, Steve.” He sighed to himself, he wasn’t overly worried-Steve could take care of himself, and he knew all too well how valuable a commodity a super soldier was. He was safe until whomever had him realized there was no way he’d ever help them. Especially when they’d left the only leverage they could have had standing in a park.

He would also cite this the next time Steve argued with him that he didn’t need to carry an arsenal with him wherever he went. He pulled out his phone when the email hit SHIELD servers. He’d set up an alert for anything mentioning either himself or Steve, as well as separate alerts for the other Avengers, and their more frequent villains.

Bucky quickly makes his way back to the tower, making sure to send off alerts to the other members of their team, so he’s not surprised to find Nat standing in the kitchen, looking at a holographic projection that she’s had JARVIS pull up.

She, like Bucky, wasn’t particularly worried, but she was waiting on Clint and Tony to make a final determination.

“Looks like some leftover low-ranking HYDRA members trying to make a name for themselves after its collapse, unfortunately, they’re lacking dedication. This signal is far too easy to trace, and their intel is at least nine months old.” Bucky filled her in.

“They don’t know you’re you.” She stated, and he nodded in confirmation.

“So, they want to trade Capsicle for Robo-Cop? Is that the gist of it?” Tony asked, sauntering into the room.

Bucky rolled his eyes, things still weren’t great between him and Tony, even though he knew that Tony had forgiven him, they’d gotten drunk together once everything calmed down and he’d returned from Wakanda.

None of the other members of the team knew what was said or what happened that night, but ever since then things have been less tense and more friendly all around.

Bucky shrugs, “If they wanna hang out with me so bad, let’s go meet ‘em.” He refreshes the signal, and note, with another eye roll that they’re headed to Siberia. “Why is it always Russia?” He wonders out loud to Nat, which just gives him a small shrug and some side eye.

By the time the team is wheels up they’re only about two hours behind HYDRA, and Nat makes sure to take a seat next to him, only partially to keep an eye on him and partially because he’d gotten that far off look in his eyes that meant blood and violence to whoever tried to stop him.

“Are you compromised?” She asks him, in low tones, making sure the rest of the team, and she had to consciously hold back a shiver when he turned and looked her straight in the eyes.

“The Winter Soldier does not become compromised.” She figured this would be a very bad time to point out that Steve Rogers made the Winter Soldier dangerously stupid. At the same time, she remembered what she had told their team all those years ago.

“I’m good at what I do.” She’d told them. “He’s the best.” It wasn’t praise it was just fact. So she steeled herself against the cold expression and nodded very subtly.

They still had a few more hours to go, no matter how fast the aircraft flew, Siberia was a fair distance from New York.

So Bucky rested his head against the side of the ship and closed his eyes.

 

Meanwhile already in Siberia, Captain America woke to find himself restrained in a very familiar chair. It was all he could do to swallow down the bile threatening to rise in his throat. He knew where he was, and he knew who the people who had taken him were.

He was still woozy from whatever they had given him, but it became obvious almost immediately they weren’t planning wiping him, they were just sitting around and waiting for something.

He wasn’t especially worried at this point, he knew Bucky and the team would be coming for him, and he was pretty sure he could take care of himself.

(Despite what Bucky told himself, he and Steve were going to have _words_ later, because Steve always thought he could handle himself, even when he was ninety pounds of rage and asthmatic indignation).

But since he figured his rescue was probably at least an hour away he decided to try to get the kidnappers talking, which, if they had truly been HYDRA agents would have been much harder, but these looked like kids, barely out of their teens.

“So what’s the plan?” He asked them, more cheerfully than they had been expecting.

“We have sent word to your allies, Captain, and the plan is simple, Captain America in exchange for the Winter Soldier.” A tall man with light brown hair said. “With The Asset we will restore HYDRA to it’s former glory, cut off one head- “

“Yeah, I’m gonna stop you right there.” Steve said, and he wished he could hold up a hand. If he had to hear that same stupid shit one more time he was going to lose it. He’d had enough of that in the ‘40s.

After that he spent his time listening to the seahorses (that’s what he’d dubbed them in his mind, tiny little innocuous sea creatures), Wax poetic on and on about how they were going to rebuild HYDRA with the help of Victor Von Doom, who, by their own admission had no idea of their plan in the first place.

At this point, Steve was actually a little embarrassed at having allowed himself to be kidnapped by these idiots. Their plan had no real long term continuity. So he sat there, quietly rolling his eyes and awaited the arrival of his team, and absently working his way out of the cuffs, when he picks up the faint sounds of metal on metal coming from above him, followed shortly by muffled shouting.

Immediately the two guys in the room with him were on alert, and looked gleeful as a child on Christmas, as the team broke through the door. Steve couldn’t immediately see Bucky but could feel that he was there, the first two into the room were Nat and Clint, Tony having stayed outside making sure no one got away.

“We asked for the Soldier, not the Widow and the Archer.” Seahorse number one sneered at Natasha, who just rolled her eyes, before catching them very briefly on something behind them.

Steve had to admit he was enjoying this, if for no reason other than the fact that it was nothing more than an inconvenience and held no real danger. He felt his smile get even larger as he watched Bucky drop silently behind the guards, even after all this time, Steve was never really sure exactly _where_ Bucky came from when he appeared and disappeared. One more than one occasion he could’ve sworn Bucky disappeared from literally right in front of Steve’s eyes. And Bucky, for his part, wasn’t telling.

“Just out of curiosity,” said a voice behind them all, “how did you think this was gonna work out?” Bucky asked, casually twirling a ring dagger with the thumb and forefinger on his left hand. “You okay, Stevie?” He asked belatedly, getting a short nod from Steve.

“You’ve come back to join us in our glorious cause!” Seahorse number two beamed at Bucky, who just looked dumbfounded.

And then he started cackling, which had Steve rolling his eyes. “Oh-“ He gasped, doubling over, “you poor, poor idiots. I’m here because you kidnapped my husband.” And by the last words he was standing up straight and his eyes were nothing but murder.

“I’m not afraid of you.” The little minion squeaked with false bravado.

“Yes, you are.” Bucky smiled slightly, and it was just a little bit mean.

Seahorse number one had just enough time to reevaluate his life choices, as he watched the Winter Soldier charge toward him looking for all the world like an angry bull, and he started to think maybe, just maybe, his old bosses had undersold the danger of this man. They’d made him sound like a tool that could be easily controlled given the right motivation, an unkillable mindless soldier. Unfortunately, what they’d ended up with was an unkillable man, who was very, very angry.

He’d had just enough time to blink before the blackness closed in.

Bucky was actually quite proud of himself for not killing anyone. He even went so far as to give himself a pat on the back. The team had waited for SHIELD’s clean up team to arrive and escort the two almost-HYDRA-agents to their respective prison cells, and were finally back in the jet, flying home. By the time they got back the team was in good spirits and had found them laughing about the ridiculousness of the situation most of the way back.

Unsurprisingly, Captain America became an undesirable target after said fiasco, especially when it became public knowledge that he was married to the legendary Winter Soldier.


End file.
